the past and the present

跟踪记忆我才能和你接近

除了可惜, 眼泪没有声音

好想好好爱你

却没有权利再把你抱紧

从今以后, 如果你能快乐

就别管我想你

Past: I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender.

Present: I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep cause I'd miss you, baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you, baby.

Every moment spent with you, is a moment I treasure. The laughters, smiles, tears, fun, quarrels, sleepovers, meals, jokes, snacking. Everything, every memory I had with you. They are everything I treasure. Nobody could take it away from me. You told me "拿得起,放得下". That "me" before I knew you, didn't use to take r/s srsly. I said yes not even considering that I had another him on my mind but as time passed I started to take things srsly. All those things you did made me fall for you more as each day passes by. All the quarrels we had made you seem important in my life cause after every quarrel, I'd realise it's all for my own good. All the words you said made everything seem so wonderfully perfect. Thank you for that. Contradictarily, people are telling me the same thing. "拿得起, 放得下" but why couldn't I(?) Things are contradicting themselves. 

I don't dare to show up at sushi tei with another guy alone, cause I'm scared. Of no reason, I'm just scared I don't know why. I don't want people to assume that he's my new boyfriend. I don't want people to ask is he my new boyfriend cause deep down it hurts and I've to smile and laugh it off. Cause deep down I know there's still you whom I can't forget. Cause deep down I can't deceive myself. Eventually, I'd end up crying in the night. Eventually, I'd start to think more about you. Eventually, I'd have more urge to call you and eventually, I'd cry even harder. I miss him really miss him alot. Who can bring him back to me?