Used to be

I used to be part of you. Part of your life.

What I once could do, pain and gain, always with you.

I'm sorry, now I can't follow you through.

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Relied too much upon him, now there's nobody here to hold me in his arms, nag at me, disturb me and wipe my tears. I miss him. I really do. Never once tried to hold on for so long it's time to let go but I can't. I know I'm tired but I miss him still. I really really really do miss him:( To the extent that, I wanted to go to Tampines today after laguna:( I'd do anything to just see him once more. I'd give anything just to get his call. I don't mind letting go of anything just to receive his text. That's how crazy I am now. I really miss him, really really really do. Do you know how it feels to be missing someone? How awful the feeling is when you want to see him but couldn't?

I wished I was one step faster-I wished I was quick enough to show what I was feeling, wished I was smart enough to guess what you had in mind, wished I knew what were the right things to say, wished I spoke reasonably with you so that you won't be angry, wished I've never had mood swings, so that I won't talk back. Wished I'd not done things to let you worry. Eventually, it turned out that I'm the one who caused all these pain. I wished I had known you earlier. I don't understand how you could remind me time and again that this isn't my fault and that I've done nothing wrong.

To hold me up each and everytime I fall when I've failed you. Just like you, to put me ahead of everything, everybody and even yourself. Isn't that what you'd always do? But all I did was to add misery to your troubles. Everything I'd done only will pull you down and nothing else.

But yet, time after time, you forgive, but I forget. I guess you've had enough of these thus it's the end. I'm sorry, I'll change. No matter how long I stare at your photo each coming day, it's not the same. It won't talk to me. It won't listen to me. It won't disturb me. It won't nag at me. It won't scold me. It won't wipe my tears. It won't hold me in it's arms. Why is it that when everyone looks at you, they don't see how wonderful you are? To me, you're always wonderful. Somebody make me happy bring me back to 6 months ago.