Still loving

I count the days now we're apart and each hangs heavy on my heart.

I know it has to be this way tomorrow happens to have gone away.

Every pathway leads to you, my heart has told me what to do.

You give me strength to carry on but every footstep feels so wrong.
You know that i'm lost without you. Stumbling in the dark,

i don't know where to turn and here in the dark im burning.

I dream this carousel will stop and somehow turn back the clocks
to let him fill my heart again, to let him kiss away this pain.......

Sometimes I could feel myself running away from reality, hoping that things would change to the way i loved. Thinking back, i feel so silly to have teared so much for you when you aren't even worth it. Yes, my brain knows it's foolish, it's dumb. But is my heart willing to follow that? Similarly, it set me thinking am i using him just as a shield to block off all unhappy memories i had with (L) or had i really fallen for him. Thus i should take a step back and think thru things, right? Lest, even more people gets hurt again and i lose a good friend. Out of the blue, i'd think that i'm not the perfect girl for (L) for him to choose her over me. Perhaps she don't drink, she don't smoke, she don't do crazy stuffs like what I do. I'd only change only if I really loved someone. Sorry, I'd only change for people whom I really trust, love and believe in. You almost got there, almost made me wanted to change for you. But why do things have to turn out this way to make me lose trust in you. It's like bringing me up to heaven and throwing me down from that height. You know how awful that feeling is? Even now when I'm looking thru our photos, I teared again:( Where are you, I need you here.

Enough of that emoish not, but sentimental post. Farah, I found my inspiration alr and that's my product! =.= heheh... hmmmms, PAS paper tmr still going thru stuffs(: Everything's going well. Just that MIC is scary. =/ Anything that has a start will eventually come to an end. I'd prefer having a scandal boyf/sp boyf rather an actual boyf now. Wait till i really get over (L). Or when one day I could think of the past without being sad at all(: That one day will come~~