Never again.

I wanna drop dead tonight :( Just for tonight, I wanna let everything go. My birthday wish for every year it's the same. I want him to wish me happy birthday =/ Not him as in that him, but another him who left me years ago. As I grow older, I start to understand how it feels like to have that one person who's supposed to be the closest to you to leave you. Years ago, I thought I hated you for not even trying to call and look for me, but now I understand. I don't blame you, afterall you're someone to me. If I had the chance, I'd hug you tight and never want you to go. Damn reality, I hate you :( I don't wanna live in regret, what if you leave this world someday and I didn't even had a chance to see you again? I don't want history to repeat. It happened to me twice and it's enough. More than enough :(

I miss gonggong..... I guess not everybody knows how it feels to lose someone really close to you. His hands who would hold onto mine whenever I ran into trouble and tell me everything's fine don't worry there's me around. The person who brought me up, taught me everything from scratch. Told me not to cry so easily, taught me to be strong. I really miss you. People say, as time passes I'll get better, but it's been years ago and it's still the same. I miss you and I really do. If you could hear what I'm talking about now, tell me what to do please. I miss you.

Sometimes things could get so complicated till some extent whereby you don't even know what to do at all. No matter how fine or crazy I appear to be, somehow, there's something that could bring me down. I shan't cry anymore after tonight. Bye, I'll be back on sunday.