is this gonna lead to a new start?

The easiest way to lose something is to want it too much; there’s so much I wish for these days, but most of all, I wish you were here. It’s strange, but before I met you, I couldn’t remember the last time that I cried. Now, it seems that tears come easily to me… but you have a way of making my sorrows seem worthwhile, of explaining things in a way that lessens my ache. My thoughts of you are sometimes the only things that keep me going..... I've been lying to myself for the longest time ever cause I thought having another him in mind would make (L) disappear. I've really been trying real hard to move on, pushing out thoughts I don't wish to have but I just realise; "the harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it unconsciously" Trust me, I wanted to try, I'm trying and I've tried. &now, I'm tired of trying. There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go of. People knows who is this for.....

for the longest time, I srsly had another him in mind
but still it blew cause of the same reason, I'm afraid.
Screw me, i feel like giving up (Y)
(I think I need some counselling from some psyhcologist before I can move on)
FML =/