filled with guilt

When you realised your world doesn't only revolve around

having/not having a boyfriend.

If you were showered with lots of love by people around you and all you know what to do is to do stupid stuffs to break the hearts of people who love you so much, how would you feel? One word; guilty and foolish. That's what I'm exactly feeling right now :( I realised over the past years, my grandparents, uncles, auntie and even my mum has showered too much love on me. So much so that its undescribable and yet I do things which made all of them worry.

I went out till late in the night without notice, I sneaked outta the house when its already middle of the night, I talked back like nobody's business although I was in the wrong, I made the school call my mum countless times over foolish offences, I steal, I smoke, I drink, I committed too much sins. I don't deserve so much love from them all and I have to do more charitable acts to make up for my misdeeds.

Gran would always give me extra money, mummy would always cover up for me when I did something wrong and would end up quarrelling with dad. My uncle would spend hundreds and thousands for me to go overseas or for my birthday celebration and present, my auntie would get things for me even at the expense of not getting anything for the own children. Tell me, this kinda people who shower so much love on me, where to find?

I feel so guilty now cause the 2-way air tix to guangzhou costs thousand odd and my uncle paid it all. It excludes accomodation and food and its only 3D2N. Its not worth it at all but still he paid cause he promised I'd get to go over =/ What more can I ask for from this kinda uncle? (: He'd get me whatever I wanted no matter what's the price and whether its worth it or not.

He and gran spoilt me thoroughly. HEEHEE ^^V

Previously Mummy was also like that giving me things I said I wanted without asking much but now.........................

Be blessed, don't grumble.