Feeling bad

I do have times when I feel bad. Friday wasn't a good day to start off. In the morning, I didn't know how to do a 15 marks question for AAP paper. I'm prepared to flunk it well. In the afternoon, I didn't know how I was walking, I slipped and fell :X Then in the evening, sales wasn't going well. At night, I dropped my phone at some staircase and fcuk it the stairs was a one way stair where you go in and cannot come out and when you come out you cannot go back in. So went around looking for the guard and ffff or what, the guard was MIA till some kind guy helped us out. Then I made mummy waited for sooooo long. Ok, I'm a fault. I shan't talk back anymore. When I reached home, things happened. What a day?

I don't think I wanna work for the time being. I've to concentrate on my attachment. I can't afford to fall sick. I know myself well, I'll fall sick once I get not enough sleep. I know mummy is concerned about me falling sick cause she said nobody will be at home to bring me to the docs and take care of me if I fall sick when they're overseas.

K, we shall see how things go.

And now, what's stopping me from saying a 5 letter word "sorry" to my mum? idk. I'm feeling really bad. Sorry (If you get to see this) I feel like some useless creature to let you worry about me and get angry with me. I know no matter how many sorries I say ain't gonna make things any better (for all the things I've done) Thinking back 2009, I made you angry till you cried, I put you in a difficult position, I made you worried and I spend your money like water. Idk how much I've changed till I think back now. If I could get back to those times when I didn't know what was money and everything I wanted was right before me. Don't need you to tell me I can feel that you loved me the most and similarly I'm the one who made you worried and angry the most. You could have given up on me since years ago but still you perservered on. Thath's how noble a mother could be. I know I don't say I love you, I don't hug/kiss you all the time like how I do when I was young. but still I love you and you still matter the most to me. I'm sorry for making you angry and worried. I promise this will be the last time. I won't stay out late anymore when you're not in sg and I won't let you be in a difficult position by not receiving any complains from anyone when you're away. Have a happy holiday in Taiwan. Lastly, thanks Yijing for going up and down with me to look for a sickening guard ^^ Love ya!