Get outta my mind would you? :(

I wish that i could hear the sirens of the ambulance,

wake up in the emergency room,

and hear the doctors say "she isn't going to make it"

just so i could find out who really cares about me.
---

I seem to have gone back to the past with you by my side. Till now, I still can't get used to life without you. Yes, say I'm stupid. Say I'm dumb, I should have moved on long ago just like how you did. What's holding me back? What's stopping me from loving another him? Is it the hurt you caused that made me not trust guys anymore? I don't find myself to be me when I cried over the phone. I don't find myself normal when I broke down immediately and for so many days when you said breakup. Cause it's srsly the first time I cried so hard over a guy. And for now, I stopped loving anybody. Thanks for the heartbreak. I still need time. Perhaps being single is the best way out though. I'll have more freedom, I don't have to account my whereabout and plans to anybody, I don't have to worry about not having enough time to accompany that someone. Lesser quarrels, lesser tears, lesser heartbreak. Laughters and fun could be brought to you by friends too. Friends are better for now. Until I find another him to prove that having a someone is better.... I feel like crying now. It's so long after we broke off, why do I still feel the same? People said time will solve everything, but it isn't.

I shall not suffer from denial anymore. >:(