Game of pretense

If one day I collapsed, would you be there?

Why are both of us pretending that everything's "alright", when nothing's fine at all?

Like a timebomb ticking away, when one of us would breakdown.

People would say that I'd be the only one breaking down. But, no it isn't.

If they knew what had happened......

Was late for induction for a mere 15mins. Had talks, talks and nothing more but talks. While we were sitting there stoned. You could see me not stoned, but dozing off though. ;// The guy beside me, haiqal also dozed off. =.= Left arnd 12 tgt with him. Poor haiqal lives in Yishun, if there's lectures at 8am, he's so dead. Trained to TP soonafter. Window shopped and I saw loads of clothings. Damn, there's 20% offer all around:( Sigh..... Shopped arnd an hour plus then finally I couldn't tahan the feeling of window shopping, and hurried (L) to have his break earlier. Went up to ST to meet (L), he had his break around 4.45.... Met him... Saw familiar faces like yinyi, ah gu (idk what's he doing there though;//), and lastly Mr Tall! ;pp Chatted and slacked.... ST at TP 1 is like super damn cooooool~ 1. 2storeys! 2. There's a balcony.... (Motive: For ppl like us to smoke)^^ hehee, the real reason isn't for that laaaa.... 3. The tables are big..... (L) was telling me to work there instead cause it's more fun. But.... Think of the distance pleeeease?!?!?!?! T_T
School is gonna start in less than a weeks' time. I guess I'm having the pre-school start jitters. I'm really considering quitting the job alr. Cause, I'm afraid I can't cope. Having at least 36 to 48 hours of lectures each week. Having clinical attatchments 2 months from now. I gotta spend time together with (L), friends and people whom I consider important to me. How can I have time to work? Monday to Friday will be school and cca/s. While Saturdays will be spent with (L) and friends. Sunday is family day. (L) also doesn't want me to work anymore after ST at Paragon moves to the new outlet, so I should srsly consider quitting alr. Else he gets upset:( After this 2 weeks break, I'll go back to work for a week, then tell them I can't cope with schoolwork ;//
I could feel you ain't happy. Would you just stop pretending everything's alright, everything's fine? Why did things turn out this way?  You said I've changed, for the better. (For once, you said that) But so what, it isn't gonna bring us back together. I've to change, cause I can't fall for you anymore. In the process of accepting reality, I've learnt to be stronger. Perhaps, these was what brought the change in me. Sorry, I ain't a super girl. I can't pretend that everything's fine between us. Did you know I almost teared when there was only me and you just now? I held back my tears, I didn't wanna break down. I wanna leave home happily and come home happily. Tell me what's love all about?

Close your eyes and feel my love.

Boy, this feeling will stay within us, never would it disappear [:

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Went for lan with korn in the morning. Met up with Mum for lunch then walked around and went to school to buy lecture notes. I'm preparing myself for school alr ._. Planning to get a neeeeew bag for school. ^^ (L) tells me to concentrate on studying and stop working. I'll listen to him(: Moreover, Mummy is also nagging non-stop alr! :( Going off in a few hours time. The last chance of having fun and enjoyment the whole day without having worries about going to school. (L), I'll miss you ((x