How long is forever?

No matter how hard I try not to quarrel, it'd still be the same. After I thought everything was alright, another quarrel begins by the night. It's troubling me, I don't like it this way:( Slept at 4am today cause I couldn't get to sleep and was in front of the tv the whole time. Woke up at 11.30am and I didn't see any messages from (L). I guess you're really angry but what am I supposed to do appease your anger;// I really don't know. Tell me please? I really miss those r/s without any quarrels D: Every quarrel started cause of me. I lied to you, I broke promises. I feel so distant from you after each quarrel. And now, even more distant. I'm losing grip of what's happening between us, getting tired of saying sorry, sick of quarrelling/arguing. If I'm not afraid of losing you, I'd choose to end off this r/s. It would be happier for everyone. But, I can't do it:(